I went to Florida for two weeks. Not for a vacation. Not to escape. I went to unravel tangles I didn’t even know were there.

I think that’s how it works sometimes. We don’t always see what’s knotted up inside us until we slow down enough to feel it. We are all so used to doing, producing, moving, holding and handling. And then life asks us to undo some of that doing. To sit. To notice. To feel what’s actually there.

That’s what this time became for me.

Grief has been my teacher. And what I’m learning is this: grief is not linear. Not even close. It is every ride at an amusement park. One minute you feel steady. The next minute you are dropped, spun, flipped upside down.

At times, it almost feels like grief is amused by how much control it has. I wish I were too short for the ride. But I’m not. So I’m learning how to stay on it.

Being with myself has looked different here. My journal replaced social media, not completely, but enough to notice the shift. Collaging took over Netflix, again not perfectly, but it pulled me in. Walking replaced scrolling. That one felt real. Step by step, breath by breath, I came back to myself.

And I made a few clear choices. I said no to negativity. No to the news. No to taking in more than I had the capacity to hold. Not because I don’t care, but because I do. And right now, caring for myself matters.

Owning my time in this season has not looked productive. It has looked honest. It has meant letting the waves come and go. It has meant trusting that I can stay with myself through all of it. No fixing. No rushing. No pretending I feel okay when I do not. Just being right here. It’s like this now.

So if you are in your own version of this, tangled, grieving, unsure, you are not doing it wrong. You might just be in the middle of your own undoing. And something real may be waiting on the other side.

An Invitation to Come Back to Yourself

My next personal retreat will invite you to do the same. Not for two weeks, but for four days of an intentional deep dive into your inner wisdom.

This October. Bodega Bay. Invite only.

I want to be surrounded by others who get it. People who are willing to explore themselves, their deepest truth, and their inner wisdom through my creative guidance.

Please message me if you want to have a conversation.

Bring This Work Into Your Leadership

If you’re ready to bring this same depth into how you lead, speak, decide, and show up with courage, join us for Dare to Lead™ this August 27–30 in the Bay Area. It’s 20 hours of powerful leadership training based on the research of Brené Brown, led by me and Jamie Nau.

Come with a colleague, friend, partner, or someone you know is ready to lead with more courage.

JOIN US https://ownyourleadership.org/